Instanbul, Not Constantinople

Having now spent just over a week in Turkey, I can now confirm it is not as yellow as the movies make it look. We have left Istanbul, now that our debrief has ended and are excited to start our new ministry in the modern day location of what was once the city of Troy. Before I even begin to share what we’re doing (because we don’t know yet), the Lord has been doing a lot in my heart over debrief.

The first part has been a revolution of my daily devotional life and how I seek out the Lord. I have very much persevered in daily bible readings and worship and whatnot because that’s what I’d been told a good Christian does. They read and sing and continue to on about their days. Being a missionary, I felt exempt to many of the proclivities of lukewarm Christianity and yet I was ticking off the boxes because I didn’t know what they were there for. I tret time in the word as a pharisee, striving for knowledge, and I’d be continuing in this fashion if it hadn’t been for a sermon detailing the need for everything in the Christian life to stream out of intimacy with the Lord. I had mistaken the engine for the destination, not knowing that all it is an engine with which to seek the presence of the Lord. Coming from a cessasionist background, it’s a new concept for me that I can sit in His presence and I’m far from perfect at being able to do so, but as we’re told:

“Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.” – Philippians 3:12

The more I spend time in His presence, the more I am convicted and encouraged towards using the musical gifts He has given me for His glory. He has guided me back into composition as well as simply music performance for His glory. Coming out of NYU, I was very much wracked with a lot of imposter syndrome, unsure as to if it was really a career I felt able to pursue and now I have the assurance of what the Lord has given me. If I feel like stretching out the moral of this, the assurance of the Lord in my identity is the firmest foundation.

Beyond that, the Lord has been changing my eyes from these gross ones that need contacts to see, for the eyes of heaven. When we look through the eyes of the world, we perceive people according to one of two ways. The first is objectification where those around us are merely a collection of body parts, and the graduated sense that most of us stop at is perceiving others for their personalities. We’re content to stop there, I’ve been content to stop there but in anger and frustration I simply perceive those around me by the negative aspects of their personalities. In spite of all of our sins, the Lord sees us as His children (1 John 3:1), He lavishes His grace upon us and sees us not in our sin but in our state as new creations. To see with the eyes of heaven is to see each other for their identity in who the Lord has said they are. On its own, it sounds like a lofty and idealistic thing, but when are we asked to do any less than see each other for the spark of grace that He has given us.

So now I sit in a random café, next to a sleeping cat and I’m excited to start ministry tomorrow, and whatever it entails! In the meantime, I ask that y’all would pray for our efforts and that y’all would pray for my fundraising! If y’all could inquire to the Lord as to if you should give and if you could spread the good word to others who might be able to give, that would be an immense blessing! Don’t forget to subscribe if you haven’t already, and I’m looking forward to seeing y’all on the flippity flip!